Marriage

Marriage is foundation of new family where 2 individuals commit to each other to be together for rest of life. Whatever the circumstances they decide to face everything as one. When 'I' changes to 'We'. When while taking even small decisions individuals starting thinking in terms of how is it going to affect the other individual whom s/he did not even know some days back.
Its really surprising how marriages works in India. Most of the arranged marriages are when you meet other person 1-2 times and decide to be with him/her for rest of life. Most of the people are able to find the right person this way or are able to carry the relationship with few adjustments. But What if someone discovers after marriage that the other person is not the one who s/he dreamed about. s/he is not even close to what s/he expected her/him to be. The other person is not bad or s/he doesn't have anything extreme which can be called as the reason for dislike but somehow you don't like her/him. You don't feel like spending time with her/him. Both the persons are not happy with each other. Both of them try to make adjustments but it doesn't work as there is nothing wrong with both of them individually but together they can't have same dreams, same vision, same thoughts. Infact they do not have same level of understanding, there is major difference in their upbringing, culture etc. Even in such circumstances they continue to stay together and show good face in front of others when they are not themselves happy.
Should they both not pursue there own dreams seprately instead of staying together? If that would have been the case in some other country, people would get seperated even on next day after marriage. But in India, although there are increasing number of divorce cases, still people try to not go on that route and continue to make adjustments to such an extent that they stop enjoying everything in life. A cheerful & outgoing person suddenly after marriage becomes very silent. Is it right thing to do?
I am not sure what is right? whether continuing this way for rest of life is good? or whether to leave this and move ahead in life by taking this incident as teaching experience. I think giving some time and even then if its not working out then moving ahead is fine thing to do. But what if the decision of separting is not coming willingly from both the individuals. One person wants to stay with the relationship forever and other wants to run away as soon as possible. Then its a situation where only those 2 indivuduals can mutually decide what is good for them, for their future. They should be able to take mature decision and communicate to the world. Its really difficult for those individuals as it definately changes their life, whatever they decide.

Festival Time

Whenever its festival time, I remember my childhood days. Whether it used to be rakshabandhan, navratri, diwali etc we used to prepare for the same atleast 15 days in advance. As to what will we wear, what would we buy, what sweets to make or buy. And it used to be so much fun. That day used to be very different from the normal days as we used to get together with family members at one place and used to have fun. I really miss those days whenever this time of festival comes. But after marriage, Since we do not have family members here in pune, whenever there is festival its just another holiday for us, similar to weekend. But now after kids, I am trying to celebrate festivals also the same way as we used to do in our childhood. I want to create good memories for kids too. So we celebrated Rakshabandhan, now its time for Ganeshutsav. Looking forward to that...

Handling People

No matter what you do some people would always criticize you. If you do something which is wrong, or I should say its not wrong but its not the way they want it. At that time they would make sure that they speak about it to everyone and that too not once, so many times that it kinds of get irritating for you. But if the same so called wrong thing is done by someone who according to them is perfect. They would simply say to that person that it was not correct and stop there. I think lot of times as to how to handle such people. Best way is to avoid such people.
But sometimes you can't even avoid them, then I keep wondering what is the solution. Even if you try to explain to them, they stick to there point and would not want to listen to you and would behave in such a way as if they haven't listened to you. They are not ready to understand your point. Uff, then what to do?
I really don't have answer to this problem and get bugged up by this kind of people so many times. The best thing that I do is behave with them the same way as they do with me. I also stick to my point and behave as if I haven't understood there point. In this process I kind of start acting to everyone in that way. I don't know if this is effective or not but I am not satisfied with this method and I loose my peace of mind. When I ask for the solution, most of the people say, every individual is different and accept them as they are. But you get hurt so many times as sometimes you have to be pretending yes when actually your mind and body signals no, or ignoring people around you, not able to speak your mind completely. And if that happens for a long period you don't feel like talking to anyone around and no one seems to understand you. That is the beginning of depression. You feel isolated from the world as there is no where you can take out those feelings and express your mind completely. None of the solutions like going for a vacation or leave everything and sit in silence seem to work. Do you have any solution to this problem?

IT Industry and Stress

Now a days there is so much buzz about stress and work-life balance. Specially after IT industry took its current form, so many new kinds of problems have come into life of otherwise healthy indivuduals. These problems are more related to mind. And very young individuals ususally falling between age of 20-40 happen to have this problem more. What is the reason? is it life style or the kind of work?
I have heard so many young guys have heart attack. 2 of my colleagues who were below 30 years of age could not survive the attack. We hear from every individual that work comes his/her first priority. Its true also as most of the time when we are awake we are either working in office or thinking about the next task or planning for future work in office or in general taking pride to speak about work life. So out of 17-18 hours that we are awake, minimum 12 hours we are giving to work. But is that the reason why we are experiencing health problems? Even in other industries also people work for 10 hours and that too 6 days a week, whereas in IT people work only for 5 days and they get 2 days completely off for themselves. So why is it that IT people face this issue more.
I think its more because of the expectations we set for ourselves and the competition we face everyday. In other industries the promotion is based on experience. Here its based on performance. Every individual, without realizing, pushes himself/herself to such an extent that one more step can take him/her to disaster. Everyone wants to achieve the maximum as early as possible. In achieving that we are losing up on very important part in our life. By the time we realize that, its too late. Sometimes we don't even realize that and take pride in buying 3 bunglows, 2 cars etc etc. I wish the young people who are now joining in the fascinating industry realize the importance of health and life first and give that the utmost priority in life as compared to onsite trip, $s and other material things. Life is very beautiful if only we have time to live and enjoy that.

Mother - Topmost influencer in anyone's life

I am back after a long gap of more than a year now. For me the last year was very happening. My life took a completely different direction. 2 sweet little babies came in my life. Its a wonderful experience to be a mother. Out of all the roles I play in my life being a manager/daughter/sister/wife etc., mother is the one which is very special and satisfying.

3 months after birth, your baby's first smile can bring out your tears. Playing with your kids, just like them can make you forget the world. Holding your baby next to you and sleeping or just keeping silent for a while can give you that happiness and satisfaction which nothing else in this world would be able to fulfill.

I also realize that bringing up kids is all together a different challenge and mother plays a very important role in anybody's life. When I think of anyone (husband/neighbour/colleagues), I try to imagine how they must have been brought up in life. How would be there parents? how they must be in childhood days? Any person I see whether its sachin tendulkar or osama-bin-laden, whatever they are, the base for that has been there childhood days and how they were brought up. Looking at that I commit to myself everyday to be a perfect role model for my kids. All parents want to give the best to there kids. I am also one of them.

After meeting Sameer Sir (ISP Teacher), I have come to know many more things about parenting. And not just parenting but being yourself and living every moment happily. I am very thankful to him for showing me the way to live life completely. Whenever any negative thought comes to my mind, I just think about his words and I am back to normal. He has rekindled those hidden feelings inside me and now I can say I am more aware of myself. I have also learned to let go to much extent and am contended to large extent. My kids have become the source of energy for me and as much time I spend with them I get more and more energy.

I thank you almighty for giving me such a wonderful life with 2 lovely little beings around. I cannot ask for anything more and I make a promise today to be ideal role model for my kids. I will let them explore the things on there own, make them independent but will always be around if they need me for guidance. Provide a very loving and happy environment at home but will encourage them to go out and face the world. Will talk to them daily about sad/happy/vow moments in my life and understand and be with them completely when they are talking to me. Will be best companion for them in there plays but will encourage them to go out for social gatherings and make friends. I will always be around them but will never come in there way. I will be there to guide them if they have any queries but will always encourage them to take there own decisions. My kids are my first priority but I have other important roles as well in my life, although mother is the most interesting of all.