Working Mother

Last weekend, we had gone out for dinner with some of my husband's office colleagues and there family. In all we were 4 families and as usual we were chatting about kids, maids, work etc. But after sometime I realized that all the other women except me were house wives. 2 of them had left their job after kids and 1 never took up any job. They talked about how relieved they were after leaving their job and how much more time and attention they can give to their kids now. Suddenly I had few questions that came to my mind? Like am I doing something wrong by being a working mother? Is it really that my kids are missing out on something specially my time and amount of interaction I have with them? Am I really sacrificing anything on my home front by opting to be a working mother? I asked my husband casually how he would feel if I leave my job. Will I be a better wife and home maker and above all a better mother? He is very clever, he never gives me direct replies to such questions and smiled and said you have right to choose the way you want to live your life and you only are the best judge. I do not have any problem, whatever you choose. Oh I knew the answer but still gave a try.
So I introspected, I observed my kids, relived my routine life in my mind as to what compromises I am making, if any, by choosing to work. For me my mother was not working so I even tried talking to some of my friends whose mother was working to find out. Almost everyone said they never felt any difference. In fact they were all proud of the way they were brought up, specially the girls. I think girls realize what their mother have done for them after they are mothers themselves and same for guys too. Once you step into the role played by someone else you realize where exactly it bites the most :) So in all I spoke to some 10 women some working, some not working. And from the working one's I got the reply that they believe in spending quality time with kids. They never feel they are compromising anything instead they have learned to take help for the everyday household stuff and also learnt to let go at times. Also there kids are more independent. For the ones who are not working they said, they can plan activities related to kids more and they are able to socialize which was not possible before. They are always available for all the big to small needs of their child.
So really question that I had in beginning does not have any definite answer. I just believe that if you are happy everything else falls in place. You are able to spread that happiness to your family, your society and vice versa. So the key to all this is that women should see what is she happy doing. If she is happy when she steps out of house and do something she is skilled to do, she gets that extra energy & enthusiasm to handle the things at home. And if some women feel that they would be more happy to sit at home and take care of everything on their own. That is how they always wished to live their life. They should definitely take a break and enjoy. That is the only way you can take care of your family because I strongly believe that the charm, enthusiasm, togetherness and enjoyment in any family is brought by the women of that family. And kids are mirror image of their parents. So kids who are more happy, bubbly & cheerful are more likely to have similar parents. So it’s just that we should not be comparing ourselves with others in taking such decisions, it all depends on individual. There is nothing as right or wrong here. It’s the sense of responsibility that comes to everyone as soon as they enter the parenthood and how each one wants to handle that is left to that individual.

Women of Today

This is my first blog. I don't know what to write, but read few blogs and got inspired to just write about something. Thought of starting with topic 'Women of today'

Till few decades back, majority of women used to come in not working category, most of them being housewife, used to struggle to mark her place in society. And often referred to as wife of or daughter of. This woman wanted her own name & place in society. She wanted to take her own decisions and wanted to be independent. Some of them fought back and managed to get what they wanted, some failed, some didn't even try. Those who succeeded had to struggle a lot to cross the social barrier, to change the mindset of people who were very close to her, be that her father, brother or husband.

Today majority of the women are working. They are successful in there fields. Enjoying the right to equality with men (if I may say so). But are they really independent? This question bothers me many times. They are involved in taking financial decisions (most of high earning women enjoy that right), like buying a new house, furniture, car etc. But still is she enjoying the same rights at home as her husband or brother or father? Doesn't other people around in life expect more from her than they do from her husband? Is she not expected to cook, clean, take care of kids, grocerry etc. Apart from all that she is now expected to earn and perform in her job as well. She has now more duties to perform than before and in return she gets little rights to enjoy. Do you really think she is independent?

Still after marriage, women are expected to be calm, composed, never losing her temper, submissive, the kind of image that was created in many movies for ideal bahu (daughter-in-law) or biwi (wife). Still I find many high earning women going through the phase where she is struggling to leave her mark in job, society, in her varied roles as wife, daughter-in-law, mother. I agree that family is closely bound together because of women and women actually brings strength, organisation and charm in life of other family members. But she should be given rights that she can enjoy along with the duties she is expected to perform. She still needs to take few more steps to be completely free and actually enjoy the freedom.